Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Presley Came Today!!!









Lolly, MeMe, Poppy, some aunts and uncles sat tonight and gazed at the perfect gift from God to our family…

Presley “The President” Rhys Smith decided today was as good as day as any to assume the throne of his kingdom…..

Oh, and he did….

Cone headed, cow licked, pink skinned, baby lotioned & wearing a dress…..

Our world changed……

We all cried….

Cried shamelessly….

Cried joyfully…..

My tears began about 8 a.m. when the call came that Presley was coming today….

To really understand the tears one must understand the journey…..

To those who follow this blog you know….

You know of our last two years…

Loss of several our most trusted CUPC members…..

Death of our baby Annaleigh…..

The struggles of our daughter…….

But also in that room was Calah’s family that still feels the loss of their daddy and husband not so long ago…

We all cried…..

And then we asked each other why???

Suddenly I saw and understood…..

When one loses someone they care about or love, an empty place is left in the heart….

An emotional void appears, that we guard and promise that we are not going to let ourselves feel such pain or emptiness again….

Empty places that long to be filled…..

Then the big event of say,  a new knappy headed baby arriving on the scene and everyone is reduced to tears…..

Suddenly, the guarded empty places in our hearts is filled with a surge of love and adoration and long refused or longed for emotions pour in…..

The empty places are filled…..

And tears are rush to the surface…..

They run down our faces and soften the hardness we hide behind….

These same tears release us from captivity….

The wash out sorrow….

Rush in joy…..

Psalm 126

A Song of degrees.

1 When the Lord turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream.

2 Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, The Lord hath done great things for them.

3 The Lord hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad

4 Turn again our captivity, O Lord, as the streams in the south.

5 They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.

6 He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.


There is the moment that captured captivity leaves and our mouths are filled with laughter and love…..

From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh…..

Our hearts erupt in laughter and joy….

Such joy might just show up in the form of tears dripping and running….

Today was one of those rare moments in life, when in an instant, two, no three families experienced this….

Years of betrayal, abandonment, loss, death, loneliness, brokenness, tears and misunderstanding were all in an instant,  displaced by tears of joy…..

And three families cried….

Calah’s mom cried and said she had longed for this moment…..

Tracie cried as Presley displaced the pain of Annaleigh’s death three months ago….

I cried as I prayed over Presley and gave the two recently unemployed guardian angels their new assignment….

My broken pastor’s heart that has lost and given until it has felt so empty of late was suddenly filled with faith and love….

My grand daddy heart that has wept with the pain of our grandbaby loss…..

My daddy heart that has wept with Doni’s struggles…..

My husband heart that has wept because Tracie wept…..

And in an instant….

Love burst in and forced out sadness and gladness manifested itself in tears….

The Psalmist mouth was filled with song because his heart had been filled with gladness……

And my heart has been filled with the same…..

The same heart that has been drained and twisted today was fllled with gladness and love….

I can understand just a bit what is meant by a “full heart”….

For mine is….

My heart is full…..

Presley “The President” Rhys Smith stormed in and filled some emotional craters today…..

I am glad….

I am tired of those emotional potholes…..

Oh, and by the way…..

I taught the little Presley the pull my finger trick today…..

This can only get better…..

rks




Friday, July 13, 2012

Three Months






















Three months….

Three months and things still seem surreal……

I understand our event….

Our Annaleigh was not the first child to drown and die too young…..

I realize that our pain is not the first to be felt by grandparents….

However, this was my grandbaby….

This is my pain…..

This is our loneliness……

I will never forget our baby….

I will never forget the love of those  who came and shared…..

I am eternally grateful for every card, text & call…..

I am so thankful for the number of friends who have come and stayed with us…..

I am awed by the pulpits opened to me since this tragedy…..

Kindness, love, compassion and friendship and been poured upon us…..

But all of that on dents the pain of the loss of our baby…..

15 months of incredible love and fun……

Today, three months after her passing……

I continue to celebrate the goodness of a perfect God…….

I trust in the Lord who does everything well…..

He makes no mistakes……

Heaven’s need for our angel must have been more important than ours…..

So I trust….

I accept……

I look forward to a great reunion one day…..

Does anyone know if I can sneak a little ducky into heaven when I go?

An old song resounds in my heart today……

I Have More To Go To Heaven For Than I Had Yesterday

rks

Monday, July 2, 2012














Tracie said "I Do" 30 years ago today.....

So did I....

Still glad we did....

I am the lucky guy......


FAT Church


Here is the simple thought I shared with CUPC on Sunday night…..

FAT folks are people who are…..

Faithful….

Available…..

Teachable……

It is my desire to have the FAT’st people I can…..

The Faithful’st…..

The Available’st….

The Teachable’st…….

I want FAT boys….

I  want FAT girls……

I want Fat ladies and FAT men…..

I am going to do everything in my power to FAT’n up these people…..

FAT is fantastic…..

FAT is fine with me…..

Give me some FAT folks and make CUPC the FAT’st church in town……

FAT is good…..

I like FAT……..

rks