Thursday, December 2, 2010

Painful Preacher Pride

The heartbreaking news of moral failure in our un-wed daughter was revealed to us via a dream of the Holy Ghost….

Within hours the dream became reality and we would learn that soon we would be grandparents….

I begged God for mercy and for this ugliness to go away….

I asked for grace that was not granted…

However, the Lord did let me know that the grace he was allowing me would be sufficient for the journey we would take for the next several months….

I hurt….

Oh how I hurt….

For my daughter…

My wife….

My church….

The pain was terrible as I dealt with the reality of the ugly facts…..

I was lost in my own painful pride….

For you see….

Pride said, “You are The Pastor and look what has happened”

Pride said “Make an example of her”

Pride asked, “What will your preacher friends say about this”?

Pride said,”They might not say it but they will sure be thinking it”

Pride said, “Your family and you are a reproach to the ministry”

Pride said, “You cannot remain with the church since you cannot control your own house”

The day I mentioned to Tracie maybe I ought to just resign so as not to bring shame was the day reason dawned…..

And pride was moved to the rear of the situation….

That day I realized ….

Either I would own this problem or this problem would own me….

Therefore I took ownership….

The voice of Pride was to be ignored and I would love my daughter with all I had….

I knew that God had forgiven her….

Then why should I not…

Rather, why should I allow my pride to not allow me the joy of giving her the same mercy I had given to others over the years…..

This simple decision has changed the last nine months as I await the advent of an uninvited, unplanned granddaughter….

I moved furniture with joy…..

I helped paint a room with joy…..

I attended an ultra-sound session with, well, maybe not with joy but at least I went……

I insisted she attend meetings with us…..

I spent thousands making sure that she was beautiful at those meetings….

And I can say with absolute confidence that my grandkid will be cuter than yours….

Even though the child was conceived in sin and carried in shame and born into a single parent home….

I already love the little rat!!!

As I ponder these things….

I have remembered many friends along the way who did not win victory over their “Painful Preacher Pride”

One told me that they wished they had been more understanding when this happened to them….

Another wept saying his daughter never came back to church once the failure was made public….

Preacher man!

If your children fail, you cannot allow your Preacher Pride to control you….

For pride always precedes destruction….

Maybe not your destruction….

But more than likely your pride will insure the destruction of an already wounded and soiled precious daughter or son…

For the Pain of the Prideful Preacher in such circumstance is purely selfish…..

Pride is selfish….

Your pain is not your love for your loved one…

Rather, said pain is love for self….

The Pride of the Preacher can be very Painful to all involved….

The parent, the child and those viewing from a distance…

Preacher, please do not allow your pride to cause more damage to failed children than has to be…..

If you find this little blog offensive or painful do not feel alone……

For so would I have nine months ago…..

But now His love and His humility and His grace and His mercy has allowed me to become victorious over an embarrassing personal situation….

And I still have my daughter…..

That gives me my first grandkid in a week or so…..

Should you read this and find yourself in a similar circumstance, please know you are not alone and my prayers are with you….

Humbly….

rks

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